...and as Pollyanna as I felt such a short while ago, today I am anything but a positive, forward thinking person. Some days things still feel overwhelming to me, and today happened to be one of those days.

I used the QuitNet Vent Tent but a gentleman with thousands of days under his belt seems to think it is mostly a bad thing to vent there. I did mention in my post that it would be appreciated if judgementalism could be left behind, but I got a short retort. I don't have any desire to fight with somebody over whether or not one should use the Vent Tent to vent. He's welcome to his opinion.

Thus I am left with a dire need to vent.

I don't need to defend my need to vent. This is my blog and I'll vent if I feel it will (or might) have a positive value for me. Today is such a day.

Usually I get frustrated because of things I've done, not because of the stupidity or thoughtlessness of others. Today is no exception. I was asked for information by a person who, in my opinion, was entitled to an answer. Another person, a dear friend, has drawn my attention to the fact that my giving this person the answer I did has put my dear friend in a bad spot.

I didn't mean to.

I can see why he said I did. I can try to explain to him that his logic is based on false assumptions, but ultimately it won't matter. This person is a friend - a brother in my heart, actually - and I don't want him to be upset, with me or with my action. I sincerely believe that what I did is and will be of no real negative consequence to my friend. But I doubt he'll see it that way. Ever.

In addition, I took a job (as a "contractor" as opposed to as an "employee") as a "Lead Web Master" and for this entire week all I've been allowed to work on is print graphics. I end the day feeling very frustrated because I'm just not a print graphics artist. It takes people a long time to develop those skills. I developed my web graphics and web mastering and web development skills rather than print graphics.

So I feel stupid. Every night.

Yes indeedy, it's been a day. And there really isn't anything that makes it all better, other than just spewing it out here. My best friend and Sister of the Soul says that journaling is like taking out the garbage. I tend to believe everything she says, but in this case I've given it considerable thought and can find absolutely no flaw in her logic whatsoever.

Now why would somebody think that's a bad thing?

He said, and I quote...

Venting at QuitStop is often the equivalent of throwing a temper tantrum in kindergarten or exhibiting road rage on the nation's highways.

Rather than venting or raging or throwing temper tantrums, we should be focused here on learning how to manage our quits and how to live our lives smoke-free as mature adults.

Hmmm... I cannot find it in my heart to believe that somebody with over one thousand days under his Quit is a moron. Perhaps this is the communication gap they talk about that some say exists between genders.

I don't see venting at QuitStop at all the same as this person does. Some days, my Q-Buds and I started out posting major vents that turned into some rip-roaring good times. We blew all the garbage out of our systems, ended up having some fun, bonded still closer in our friendships, and stayed smoke-free all at the same time.

Eventually, almost all posts turn to the topic of quitting, and almost always becomes some form of positive discourse in learning to be non-smokers. That's about as mature as I ever hope to be. I really don't care to be so stuffy and so "mature" that I can't vent my spleen occassionally, or just break out and be super-silly from time to time.

To each his own, I guess is the moral of the story.

There. Done. Nothing I've vented about has miraculously changed. I haven't made any earth-shattering decisions or altered the course of history. No clouds parted in the skies, sending blinding beams of light down upon my head, nor were any grand epiphanies granted to this feeble old brain of mine.

But I do feel better. :-)